


you're my home

by sproutsungs



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Best Friends, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Memories, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 23:28:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20455322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sproutsungs/pseuds/sproutsungs
Summary: usually, eunsang enjoys quiet nights of contemplation on his rooftop. but tonight, there's something different about his sky. he's joined by his best friend dongpyo, and the two bring back old memories and confront new feelings together.





	you're my home

**Author's Note:**

> if you want, listen to moon by everglow while you read! i listened on repeat when i was writing part of this, and i think it really fits the story.

Eunsang liked to be alone. He loved to sit on the rooftop of his apartment complex on quiet nights, breathing in the cold air and having that familiar feeling of solitude wash over him. It was oddly peaceful to hear the faint noises of a city far below him, to watch the lights shining in the distance. 

There were never stars in the sky, but sometimes Eunsang would gaze up anyway, nostalgic for something unfamiliar. It calmed him like nothing else could. Being alone and letting go of all the stress of the day was the one thing he could rely on when he went to the rooftop.

He was looking forward to being alone tonight, which is why he was surprised to see someone else sitting in his spot and looking up at the sky he had claimed all for himself. The boy's silhouette looked small and delicate against the harsh lights of the background, and his head was tilted ever so slightly, letting a tiny strand of dark hair poke up. Eunsang could barely make out the boy's facial features, but it didn't matter- he could recognize who it was anywhere.

It was his neighbor, his classmate, and most importantly, his best friend, Son Dongpyo.

Dongpyo looked up at Eunsang, who had taken a seat next to him, and smiled softly. "I come up here too sometimes," he said, as if to answer Eunsang's unspoken question. "I like the quiet; it gives me a place to think about things clearly."

"I didn't know you liked to come up here."

"I know, it's surprising." Dongpyo was right- he was somewhat of a social butterfly at school. "We all need to be alone sometimes, though. School is stressful and I cope by coming up here and looking at the stars. Or at least thinking about them."

"But I never see you here." The confusion was showing in Eunsang's voice.

"I always leave before you. You need to be alone as much as I do; I know school is hard on you too."

"How do you know when I come up here? Or that I come up here at all?"

Dongpyo thought back to a year or two ago. He had failed a test that day, gotten yelled at by his parents. He just wanted to be alone; so he came up to the rooftop hoping that no one else was there. Yet of course, there was Eunsang, staring up into the sky. Dongpyo could see the wonder and awe that filled his face, the revelation that he was enveloped by a quiet nothingness, the happiness that he had finally found a place where he could get away from everything. Looking at him, Dongpyo felt all of the day's stress lift like a weight from his shoulders. He wanted to see Eunsang that happy all the time, so he left him alone to enjoy the peace without interference. 

Ever since then, he had come back a few times- always at 2am, because Eunsang was such a meticulous person that he even planned his nighttime visits. Dongpyo would watch him looking out at the city and the sky, watch the quiet wash over him like an ocean wave to the shore. Sometimes Dongpyo longed to be the one to give Eunsang that feeling of peace, but most times he was just satisfied seeing that the other boy was content.

Of course, he could never admit this to Eunsang, and so Dongpyo left his questions unanswered. "You know when you're talking to someone you're close to and the conversation ends? And it's silent, but the good kind of silence? That's how I feel when I'm up here."

"The city's surrounded by noise, but up here we escape it."

"Exactly."

And then it was silent, the comfortable kind of silence that both boys reveled in.

For Dongpyo, the silence cultivated thoughts- memories and questions and feelings. Everything that had to be suppressed during the day appeared now in his mind, like a flower that would bloom and never stop growing if he allowed it to. He was a curious person, always searching for explanations and answers, and he was searching now. Thoughts of Eunsang kept running through his mind, old memories of childhood fights and the tender moments that followed. 

He remembered when they were thirteen, a day when his needy, jealous, immature self had seen Eunsang talking to the new boy at school- Dongpyo had accused Eunsang of not wanting to be friends with him anymore. Eunsang had eventually been the one to apologize, and Dongpyo vividly remembered his reassuring words.

_"I don't want to lose you. Sometimes people need me more than you need me, but you know I'll come back to you every time, right, Dongpyo? You're my home."_

Eunsang had always said that, whenever the two got in a fight or whenever he simply wanted to express affection. _You're my home._ When Dongpyo was sad, when he cried about a bad grade or a mean comment, when he needed someone to tell him that everything would be okay, Eunsang was there. _You're my home_ meant that Dongpyo belonged somewhere. It meant that Dongpyo didn't need to be sad, because he had Eunsang and Eunsang had him.

And suddenly, Dongpyo wished he could be there with Eunsang forever. He moved closer, leaning his head against the taller boy's shoulder.

Eunsang looked down at Dongpyo. He was lost in thought too; being on the rooftop brought out his emotions. Eunsang was the type to keep everything bottled up inside, ignoring his feelings until he was sure they could no longer distract him. But when he was alone, he could reflect on things. 

Dongpyo's sudden touch reminded Eunsang of a memory: six months ago to the very day, when he had slept over at Eunsang's apartment. Just the two of them alone in Eunsang's bedroom, watching a movie together. He remembered hearing Dongpyo's rhythmic, quiet breathing, and he remembered slowly leaning down to slip his hand in Dongpyo's. He remembered whispering _You're my home_ when he was sure the other boy was asleep, and he remembered Dongpyo squeezing his hand. Eunsang thought of the sudden twinge he had felt in his heart at that moment. Afterwards, there were only buried feelings and thoughts of wistfulness he forbade himself to have.

Eunsang had never been a courageous person; there was a reason why the only place he could let go was on this rooftop. He felt like he imagined the stars to feel, hiding behind a cloud of unbidden obstacles that masked who he truly was. Sometimes he wished desperately for that cloud to clear, and other times he was glad it protected him. Yet he knew that whenever Dongpyo looked at him, he saw only the stars behind the cloud- the true Eunsang. Because Dongpyo made him vulnerable, made him want to give up everything just for Dongpyo to be _his home_ forever.

Suddenly Eunsang wanted to break the silence- he knew that he and Dongpyo were hiding behind it, and he hated how much the truth hurt. He felt slightly rebellious, and maybe it was because the silence was getting to him, but he spoke.

"Dongpyo," he said, slowly and quietly, matching the pace of the night.

"Mm," murmured Dongpyo, probably half-asleep leaning against Eunsang.

"Do you ever think about-" he hesitated. "About how things could be different? If you'd only chosen to say something or do something quicker?"

"I mean, if my parents hadn't forced me to change schools, I never would have been your neighbor and we never would have been friends."

"Well, yes, but no." Eunsang's voice was strained. He wanted Dongpyo to understand what he was saying without him having to outright say it. "I meant… what if you wanted something? But you didn't act on it until it was too late and you regretted not taking that chance?"

Dongpyo nodded, the realization showing slightly in his expression. "I always have questions. I regret not finding answers to some of them soon enough."

"Ask me one."

"I- I can't. They're not those type of questions. My questions are metaphorical. You know, self-reflection stuff."

Eunsang smirked; being on the rooftop was bringing out his confidence. "Ask me anyway."

Dongpyo looked at Eunsang strangely for a brief moment, and then shrugged. "Fine. Do you remember last year, when I came with you to get your ears pierced because you wanted to do something rebellious but you were too scared?"

"Yeah." Eunsang had been friends with some of the older kids, and they all had their ears pierced. He wanted the same, but he couldn't do it alone and he couldn't tell his parents, so Dongpyo accompanied him.

_"That wasn't so bad, was it?"_

__

__

"No…"

"See, it didn't hurt too much. Wanna know why?"

"Why?"

_"Because I was holding your hand the whole time."_

Of course, Dongpyo had been right. Eunsang didn't know about all the complexities that came with the feelings at that time, but he did know that he felt safe and warm and happy when Dongpyo was holding his hand. He remembered how everything melted away, all the fear and the unfamiliar environment, because Dongpyo was there, and as long as Dongpyo was there, Eunsang had nothing to be afraid of.

"And do you remember when those boys teased me after the talent show because I performed with a group of girls?"

"Yeah." Eunsang remembered the performance, an upbeat dance routine. Dongpyo had been the only boy, and afterwards he was cornered backstage by several older boys that had made fun of him.

_"E-Eunsang, what if they come back?"_

__

__

"Shhh, they won't come back; they're idiots. If they come back I'll call my brother to beat them up and then they'll leave you alone."

"I don't want to dance anymore if this is what happens when I do."

"Don't say that. It's going to be okay. Next time you're going to prove them all wrong, show them that this is who you are and you're not going away."

_"Only if you're there by my side."_

Eunsang remembered how it felt to hold Dongpyo, shaking in his arms. Dongpyo had been so vulnerable and weak, and all Eunsang wanted to do was protect him. He had vowed to make sure no one hurt Dongpyo again. He needed to be there every time for his best friend, and he couldn't picture it any other way.

"So you remember, then, how you and I felt? How we were there for each other? How you comforted me when I was hopeless and I reassured you when you were afraid? And," Dongpyo became quieter. "You know now that you want to have that forever? That you want us to be there for each other for as long as possible? That you want us to face everything together?"

"Yeah." Eunsang replied, barely audible. He couldn't bear to look at Dongpyo, his confidence totally gone.

"Hey," said the smaller boy forcefully, sitting up. "Look at me. Is that really all you have to say?" His expression softened. "Take the chance," he whispered.

"Yes." Eunsang sighed. "Yes, I know that now. I know how I feel and I want more than anything to have you because _you're my home_, Dongpyo. I would give up all of these comfortable silences and rooftop nights just for you, and I think you and I have both known this for a while now."

Dongpyo didn't respond for a few moments. Then he took Eunsang's hand, lacing their fingers together. Eunsang was glad for that- he felt as if he was weightless, and Dongpyo was his anchor, keeping him from floating away. He knew that Dongpyo was trying to express his feelings through touch rather than words, and it was working. Eunsang's heartbeat had quickened, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to cry or smile or blush. The one thing he was sure of, though, was that Dongpyo was _his_ now, and he was Dongpyo's. It was them against the world, and Eunsang wouldn't have it any other way.

"Look at the sky," Dongpyo said suddenly, and Eunsang obliged. In the middle of the dark night was a singular star, shining brightly despite the deep haze created by the lights of the city below. "That's us. We're shining, no matter what's trying to stop us. And now you're my one and only, you're more than my best friend. You're my star, Eunsang."

"And you're my always. _You're my home_, Dongpyo. No more unanswered questions."

"No more regrets."

"Let's spend a billion more rooftop nights together."

Dongpyo and Eunsang wrapped their arms around each other, as if they were the only two souls in the universe.

"And as many more comfortable silences as there are stars beyond the sky."

**Author's Note:**

> eunpyo nation represent!! special thanks to [swimnayeon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/swimnayeon/pseuds/swimnayeon) for proofreading this and helping me improve it <3 you can find me on twitter too, my handle is [@prodKSOO](https://twitter.com/prodKSOO). hope you enjoyed the fic!


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